Sunday 8 June 2014

How to Crochet the Panda Monster

Needle 3.50 mm (I'm not aware of the non metric size and if there were a just god, no one else would either.)
Yarn 4 Medium
Colours Whatever you desire. Don't let people like me tell you what to do. In fact ignore these instructions altogether. But I used Chocolate for may accent colour and Cream for my main colour... or maybe it was called Oatmeal. I don't remember. I drink a lot.
Eyes I think they're called easy eyes. I know that you can't get them at my local big chain craft store, but if you ask the people there they'll tell you where the out of the way craft store is. Usually it will have no sign and be near impossible to find. The craft equivalent of a speakeasy.

Terms:
Sc Single Crochet
Ch Chain
Sc dec Single crochet decrease
Db Bob Double Bobble
Tr Bob Triple Bobble

Some stitches I use that need clarification:
Double Bobble yarn over hook, insert into stitch, yarn over hook and pull through stitch, yarn over hook and pull through two loops, yarn over hook, insert into stitch, yarn over hook and pull through stitch, yarn over hook and pull through two loops, yarn over hook and pull through three loops.
Triple Bobble yarn over hook, insert into stitch, yarn over hook and pull through stitch, yarn over hook and pull through two loops, yarn over hook, insert into stitch, yarn over hook and pull through stitch, yarn over hook and pull through two loops, yarn over hook, insert into stitch, yarn over hook and pull through stitch, yarn over hook and pull through two loops, yarn over hook and pull through four loops.

I don't know what those stitches are actually called and frankly, I don't care. This is street crochet mother fucker...

I'm sorry... That was lame.
But it would probably be easier for you if I did know what they're called 'cause then you could look them up.

Anyway, everything is worked in rounds unless otherwise stated.

Body
Row 1 Starting with main colour Ch 5
Row 2 1 Sc into second chain from hook, Sc 2, 3 Sc into next ch, on other side of chains Sc 3, 3 Sc into next ch. 12 st
Row 3 [2 Sc into next sc, Sc 1] six times 18 st
Row 4 [2 Sc into next sc, Sc 2] six times 24 st
Row 5-12 Sc 24 24 st
Fasten eyes at some point and stuff before going onto legs. I also like to start the arms before finishing the legs, so that I have the ability to fiddle around on the inside.

Arms
Row 1 Using accent colour Ch 3
Row 2 6 Sc into second ch from hook 6 st
Row 3 2 Sc in next sc, 3 Sc into next sc, 2 Sc into next sc, switch to main colour, Db Bob 3 10 st
Row 4-5 Using accent colour 10 Sc. 10 st
Row 6 [Sc dec 1, Sc 1, Sc dec 1] two times 6 st
Sew to body using accent colour. Repeat for other arm.
I thought this was the easiest way to do the arms. However, I prefer to do them by picking up six stitches on the side of the body and working the arm pattern in the opposite direction. This creates a cleaner seam where the arm attaches.

First Leg
Row 1 Continuing with main colour, Sc to center of body. Find stitch twelve stitches back, from there Sc 12 12 st
You should now have a twelve stitch round on one half of the body and another twelve stitches on the other half
Row 2-4 Sc 12 12 st
Row 5 Sc 1, [switch to accent colour, Tr Bob 1, with main colour Sc 1] three times, Sc 5. 12 st
Row 6 Using accent colour, Sc dec 6 6 st
Stuff leg
Finish bind hole closed

Second Leg
Row 1 Pick up 1 Ch at the top of the inseam of the first leg. Along the remaining edge from the body Sc 12. 12 st
Row 2-5 Repeat as with First Leg

Ears... I guess
Work in lines, not rounds
Row 1 Using accent colour Ch 3
Row 2 2 Sc into second ch from hook 2 st
Row 3 2 Sc into next stitch, Sc 1. 3 st
Sew to body using accent colour. Repeat for other ear... thing.
Again, this is an easier approximation of what I do. I picked up stitches from the head and worked the reverse of this pattern

If your work smells like dog or cat, you're doing it right.

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